Reduce Kid’s Summer Stress

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 Grandparents and other childcare providers often spend more time with young children in the summer when regular preschool is not available. Readers are asking for more discipline principles from Dr. Katharine Kersey to help them out. With her permission here are more of these tips to help maintain happy peaceful homes.

   Dr Kersey quotes J. L. Hymes, ”Discipline is a slow, bit by bit, time-consuming task of helping children to see the sense in acting a certain way.” To see her blog and books for families and teachers, search for her on the net.

Reducing Stress

   Connect Before You Correct Principle – Be sure to “connect” with a child – get to know him and show him that you care about him – before you begin to try to correct his behavior. For caregivers, this works well when relating to parents, too. Share positive thoughts with them about their child before you attack the problems!

  ABC Principle - Learn to think in terms of ABC (Antecedent, Behavior and Consequences). What was going on before the behavior occurred and what happened afterwards - as a result of the behavior? Many times you can find patterns in behavior - and alter your behavior or the circumstances that may have led up to the inappropriate behavior. Also, you might need to look at what is gained by the behavior - what the child is getting as a result. A child who is overly tired may throw a temper tantrum. In order to get him to stop, he may be given a toy. (In the future, he may throw a temper tantrum just to get a toy.) By changing the antecedent and/or the consequences, a temper tantrum may be avoided in the future.)

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   Ask the Child Principle - Ask the child for input with age in mind. "Do you think this was a good choice?" "What were you trying to accomplish or tell us with your behavior?" "What do you think could help you in the future to remember to make a better choice?" "How would you like for things to be different?" “How about drawing a picture of how you feel right now.” Children have wonderful insight into their own behavior and great suggestions for ways to make things better.

Bake a Cake Rule

  Bake a Cake Principle – When all else fails, bake a cake together (and eat some after it cools). It is a great way to stay connected and build happy memories.

Chill Out Principle – Sometimes it’s no big deal! Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill. This, too, will pass.

Divide and Conquer Principle - Separate children who are reinforcing each other’s misbehavior. Put adult between two children in a restaurant, religious service, or other venues.

Photos: Fran Darling fdarling fotos

More Ideas and Activities... See the authors’ book “Learning Through the Seasons” at area bookstores and grandparentsteachtoo.org. For more help to prepare young children for success in school see the authors’ web site: www.grandparentsteachtoo.org. Also check our audio Podcasts WNMU Radio 90; Youtube video activities; and join us on Pinterest.

Birthday Fun for Young Children

  Birthdays are such exciting days for little ones! Sometimes, this event can be a stressful for adults as they try to arrange special activities and refreshments for the birthday child and friends.

   The first thing to remember is despite cultural pressure young children do not need extensive entertainment, restaurant food, or expensive theme parties to be happy.  Most preschoolers are quite happy with a simple celebration that includes basic refreshments and a chance to play together.

Simple Party

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  Summertime and early fall offer the best chance for easy parties outdoors.  A simple party at a local park with playground equipment and a handy picnic table is easy to plan. Invite several children and parents from the neighborhood, family or school.  Pay for each child to have a treat from the ice cream truck or bring cupcakes, lemonade and other treats to share.  Adults often appreciate a fruit or vegetable tray instead of birthday cake. Sing “Happy Birthday” and take some photos. During cold or rainy weather, a group visit to the recreation center, library puppet show or children’s museum provides ready-made entertainment.

   Very young children do not usually expect gifts. You can inform parents that gifts are not necessary or that just a birthday balloon would be fun.  Some families set up a used book exchange so that each child brings a wrapped book in good condition.  Every one gets to choose a gift book to take home. Sometimes the birthday child gets to hand out a little bag full of treats and/or trinkets to each visitor to thank them for coming to help celebrate. If there are gifts, remember to start the thank you note habit.

School Party Rules

  Avoid sending private party invitations to school.  Mail them to avoid hurt feelings. If you decide to have a birthday celebration at your child’s school, talk first with the teacher or principal.  Some classes now discourage activity as it disrupts the daily schedule. In addition, a growing number of children have special food allergies or restrictions.  Some schools do not allow homemade treats to be brought into the classroom. While birthday parties at school were once the norm, expectations are changing.

   How can you help your young child know more about their special day? Preschoolers should learn their birthday month and day. One way is to make time visible with a birthday calendar chain.  Plan and work together to cut strips from construction paper. Glue them to form a chain that represents how many days are left until the birthday.  Make a big star with your child’s name on it and attach the chain links.  Hang the chain low enough so that each day a link can be broken off.  Now everyone can count and see how many days are left until the big day.  
Photos: Fran Darling: fdarling fotos; Mark Nowicki

More Ideas and Activities... See the authors’ book “Learning Through the Seasons” at area bookstores and grandparentsteachtoo.org. For more help to prepare young children for success in school see the authors’ web site: www.grandparentsteachtoo.org. Also check our audio Podcasts WNMU Radio 90; Youtube video activities; and join us on Pinterest.

    

Starting Family Talks with Kids

How do you conduct conversations with a preschooler? Once families have a little practice they are amazed at young children’s insight. They are so fascinating and honest. Unfortunately, Americans often spend only 15 minutes a day just talking with young children. 

  Preschool teachers have some suggestions to get that sparkle children have when receiving  complete attention from a loved one.

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Focus on the Child

  First of all, turn off all technology to focus on them.

   Sit down or find some other way to get to their eye level.  Young children need to see facial expressions, especially smiles.  Keep your voice gentle. Show children how it looks to really listen carefully. Nod. Say,” Oh and Mmm- hmm. Tell me more about that.” React in some way. Do not interrupt.

  Begin sentences with “What are some, who are some, when are some? They suggest you need a long answer. Then ask a follow-up question.

  Avoid questions that can be answered with one word, yes, or no.  Instead ask, “What are some foods that you like on the grocery list? I’ll read the list for you.” Read the list. Then pause long enough to give them time to think. The pausing takes practice. 

  If children bring home pictures, say, “Wow, look at these!  Tell me about them.”

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  If they show you Bubbles their pet fish ask, “What are some things you like about Bubbles?” Ask them to explain.

  After reading a book together, ask some questions to start a conversation.  What are some things you liked about the story?  What were some funny parts?

  Include questions about feelings. What are some happy and fun times you had at school today?  You look sad (upset, angry). Tell me about it. What are two good things that happened and one you wish didn’t happen?

  Play a game or other fun activity and talk. Go for a talk-walk.

Talking Jar

  Some families keep a jar of conversation starters written for car trips and meals.    First they go over the rules. Everyone takes a turn and asks follow up questions to get more information. No interrupting. Look and act interested. Respect each answer.

   Here are samples: What are the best parts of your day? If you could be a character in a book (movie) who would you be? How were you kind and helpful to others today? If you could be an animal, which would you be? What are some things you do that show you are a good friend?  What are you really grateful for today?  What are your least favorite chores to do around the house?

What are some things you want to learn how to do?  What super powers would you like to have and how would you use them?

 Photos: Fran Darling - fdarling fotos

More Ideas and Activities... See the authors’ book “Learning Through the Seasons” at area bookstores and grandparentsteachtoo.org. For more help to prepare young children for success in school see the authors’ web site: www.grandparentsteachtoo.org. Also check our audio Podcasts WNMU Radio 90; Youtube video activities; and join us on Pinterest.