Stop Bullying in Ten Seconds

Witnessing Bullying Can Be Damaging to Other Children

  While talking with young children about bullying they often share how upset and helpless they feel that no one comes forward to help. Adults are disappointed and hurt about this, too. They know witnessing bullying can be just as, if not more, damaging to the other children as the victims. Caregivers face a dilemma when children witness bullying – keeping the witnesses safe but wanting children to help stop the bullying. Experts have research results and advice to help.

Start Conversations

  A good time to talk with children about how to stop bullying is when they witness the act.  Bystanders have the most power to put an end to bullying! Three out of ten children are either a bully or a victim, which means seven out of ten children are witnesses. Caregivers of young children can empower those seven children to help stop bullying.

Talking To Children Helps: Bystanders

  When peers step in, bullying stops within ten seconds 57% of the time according to a study by Hawkins, Pepler and Craig. It makes sense to teach young children to be defenders.

   Talk openly about how to handle the situation to give children positive ways to deal with it. Children can understand what an important role they play as a bystander. Role play a situation where they have a chance to be the bystander and help them imagine how they would feel if they were being bullied. Ask what they would expect from others if they were the victim. Talk about how much it can hurt and why it is important to stop bullying. Encourage children to be kind to the victims and perhaps spend time with them.

Words and Actions

  Talk about how bullies love an audience. Help children find ways to take the audience away. They can encourage everyone to do a different activity or quietly walk away to find an adult.  Explain that they should never put themselves in the position to be bullied or not feel safe, however. Assure them it is “ok” to tell an adult, and it is the right thing to do.   Explain the difference between tattling (reporting unimportant things to get someone in trouble) and telling (reporting important events to keep someone safe).

Training Calms Children's Fears

 Without training young children are afraid to tell because they fear becoming the victim or that bullying may get worse.  Help children be assertive and confident. Practice saying loudly and forcefully, “No, we don’t like that!” or “Stop! What you are doing is bullying, and it isn’t right!”   Be sure your children understand to only speak up if they feel comfortable and safe to do that. Otherwise, get help. These skills help foster adults who will be involved, responsible, and caring members of society.

For more since 2009 (archived) see grandparentsteachtoo.blogspot.com, wnmufm.org/ Learning Through the Seasons, Facebook, and Pinterest.

Photos: Fran Darling, fdarling fotos 

Helping Children Look for Firsts and Lasts

Spring Is a Time of Firsts and Lasts

Spring is a time of first and lasts.  Since young children are natural scientist and detectives, searching for change during this time of year is a great game to play. They sharpen their observation, writing, and drawing skills. Searching and record keeping can take many forms.

Looking for Firsts

  Families can sit down together with a spiral notebook or papers staples together and think of signs of spring. Make a list of signs and predict the days they will occur.  If you want to bet, the winner can earn a silly reward or some serious money like a nickel.

  What will be on your list?  How about the first time a spot in your yard has no snow? When will the first robin or flock of birds, first rabbit, or first deer appear?  When is the first time you can visit the park and go down the slide? When will the snow be entirely out of your yard or out of the woods?  When will the ice be gone from a lake or river in your area or on a mountain? When will you see the first tree buds and leaves? When does the temperature first hit 60 or 70 degrees.  Think of signs in your particular area that signal a definite change in the weather by what people wear or do?

A Lists of Lasts

  Now make a list of lasts and write them in your notebook or on a calendar—last snowfall, last time to wear a winter jacket, or last time to shovel.

Make Lots of Lists

  You can keep score of who makes the best predictions and do this as a new tradition every spring.

   The idea of prediction and record keeping was made famous by Benjamin Franklin’s “Poor Richard’s Almanac.” His company printed it from 1732 to 1758 and helped make him a very rich man. It contained a calendar, weather, predictions, astronomy, and daily advice for living frugally and well borrowed from religious books and writers through the ages.

  The “Old Farmers’ Almanac” founded in 1792 continues to this day.  It carries on the tradition of an almanac which is a book about anything and everything deemed useful.  It has the dates when it is best to cut your hair, lose weight, end projects, and have dental care. You name it.  It’s an almanac!

Is It Spring, Yet?

This past winter the forecast was “winter will be warmer than normal, with the coldest periods in late November, early and late December, early January, and early February. Precipitation and snowfall will be below normal, with the snowiest periods in mid- to late December and early to mid-February. April and May will be cooler than normal, with normal precipitation.”

  For more fun activities see grandparentsteachtoo.blogspot.com and wnmufm.org/Learning Through the Seasons, on Facebook, and Pinterest.

Photos: Fran Darling, fdarling fotos