Stories Will Link Generations

Family Conversations and Stories Help Readers

Children who are successful readers have many stories read and told to them. They have family conversations about a wide variety of subjects including their culture and ancestors. Young children may not understand every nuance of the stories now, but they will later.

  Family gatherings provide perfect opportunities to tell about parents and grandparents growing up.  Storytelling is the first exposure to history and the stories of people they love. Most important, if family stories are passed on, they are not lost.

  One generation passes on the family’s values, morals, and religion through stories. They are family lessons of kindness, sharing, perseverance, courage, and triumph over difficulty. Some are just funny.

Grandpa and Lombardi

   Grandparents can help pass on little tips that make growing up a bit easier. One Grandpa grew up in Green Bay and took his bike to watch Vince Lombardi and the Packers practice. He watched the great team up close, but he was always careful not to use the same words Coach used or he would have his mouth washed out with soap. Lesson: Be your own person and be smart about what you say.

Telling Stories Takes Practice

   Telling stories takes a little practice. You can start with a story you know well. Perhaps your grandparents told you some stories.  Think back to an encounter with an animal, an experience you remember vividly, something funny, a lesson you learned, or a slightly scary story that turns out well. Use lots of description, sounds, moving around, and exaggeration.

  There might be a favorite book, Aesop’s fable, legend, or Bible story that teaches a lesson you want children to remember.   Another way to recall stories is to take out old family pictures and tell a story about the people. These stories are great for car trips, long winter nights, family holidays, campfires, or times when children need to settle down.

Recording

Recording Stories Keeps Family Histories

  Families can use smart phones to interview grandparents so stories and voices can live on. You can have the questions written in advance and practice with the technology. Grandparents can receive questions in advance to think about their answers.  Enlist young children to press the buttons and help ask some questions. You can start with the basics. What is your name and do you know why you have it?  When were you born? What did the family do for fun? What family chores did you do?  How has technology changed?  What were your favorite foods? What is your favorite funny family story? What were your special holiday traditions? Were there any fads while growing up? Were there any special home remedies when the family got sick? The interviews can be saved on cheap jump drives and given to family members. See grandparentsteachtoo.blogspot.com and wnmufm.org/Learning Through the Seasons.

 Photos: Fran Darling, fdarling fotos -- in Memory of Jim McCoy, The Storyteller

Difficult Conversations Important

NIH - DrugAbuse.gov

Are parent and child conversations getting harder and more important than ever? Every stage of growth requires important conversations.  Along the way your family has surrounded children with what Communities That Care (CTC) call Protective Factors and conversations, researched proven ways to prevent problems before they start. 

 They include: 

• Providing a strong family unit that works together, learning a moral order, emotional control, and being volunteers to help others and receiving praise and hugs, learning a positive helpful view toward other people.
• Providing opportunities for prosocial involvement in the community like Scouts, sports, Y, 4-H, faith based clubs, and giving recognition for prosocial involvement.  
• At school having opportunities for participation in prosocial learning, volunteering, working hard, helping in many activities nurturing talents and potential, and receiving recognition.  

Learning Before Conversing

  And then comes the kicker. Your fifth grader is using marijuana THC and it is not like the any marijuana before. Families can go to government sites like drugabuse.gov, for trusted information to be knowledgeable before these new conversations.  Vermont Public Radio has a great article: “Marijuana’s Effects on the Developing Brain” is very helpful. Google images “brains on marijuana” has images of THC effects on the brain.

Hear and Read: Effects of Marijuana on Developing Brain

  Here is a sample of information: A child’s brain, including middle school, high school and beyond is still

 developing and highly susceptible to the chemical changes that occur in the body when substances, like THC are introduced.  It can affect decision making, concentration, and memory for days after use, especially in people who use marijuana regularly. 

  Some impacts include: Reduced school performance. Students who use marijuana tend to get lower grades and are more likely to drop out of school than non- using peers. Usage affects attention, memory, and learning lasting for days or weeks. Children who start young are 4-7 times more likely to develop dependency. They are significantly less likely than non-using peers to finish high school or a degree. 

  Research suggests that people who use marijuana regularly for a long time are less satisfied with their lives and have more problems with friends and family compared to people who do not use marijuana.

  Marijuana impairs driving. It affects skills required for safe driving—alertness, concentration, coordination, and reaction time, judging distance, and reaction to signs. It’s not safe to drive high or to ride with someone using. High school seniors who use marijuana are twice as likely to receive a traffic ticket and 65% more likely to get into an accident.

Marijuana potency, measured by the percentage of THC found in confiscated samples, has risen from an average of 3.8% in the 90's to more than 50% to 80% and greater THC content today. For every tax dollar taken in, taxpayers spend $4.50 on consequences.

  Parent and child education and conversations may be the greatest of protective factors. For more see grandparentsteachtoo.blogspot.com.  Your Brain on Marijuana 

Help Kids Be Healthy and Happy

During Critical Learning Years, Here's How To Help

   Children have settled into a new school year. They are growing and building confidence and skills.  During these critical learning years, adults want to be sure they are doing everything they can to help their little ones become healthy happy learners. 

   A national study indicates that there are behaviors which help young children remain healthy.

Nutrition Routine

   Eat nutritious meals six or seven times per week with the family at a table.  Good nutrition gives children the very best chance for a healthy body and a mind ready for learning.

   A study at the University College of London has a warning.  It reported that young children cared for by grandparents a significant part of the week were much more likely to be 

overweight than their peers. They are served more fatty and sugary foods and sometimes a diet of fast food and takeout meals.  Check the government recommendations at choosemyplace.gov. for guidelines about amounts and types of nutritious meals and snacks. The site suggests attractive snack fruits and vegetables and water for drinks rather than colas and sugary juices. 

Good Nutrition Starts With Routine

Monitoring Technology

  The American Academy of Pediatrics advises that children under 2 years of age should experience no screen time.  Read to them. Other child health organizations advise that 1-2 hours per day should be the maximum limit for screens of any kind.  Unfortunately, many children watch in excess of 4 hours a day.  Too much screen time has been linked to obesity, irregular sleep and behavior problems. Some experts have found that violence in movies and games can lead to an acceptance of this kind of behavior in real life and spills into school and family behavior. Excessive watching means less time for exercise and imaginative play.

   Here are some suggestions from child psychologists:  Set a good example.  Eliminate background TV noise. Turn off the TV at mealtime. Talk and eat at the table. Plan which shows and how much time children may watch.  Keep technology out of the bedroom. Especially for preschoolers, parents might want to watch shows together and talk about the content. Does it meet family standards? 

Best Homework Is Done With Media Off

Best homework is done with the media off. In general, work can be finished before media time. Computers are part of life, and can be a source of discovery and learning or a source of danger. Children using a computer need to be supervised and the computer placed in a public space. Find out ways to block sites and information that you feel are inappropriate for your student. Ask yourself what is computer time replacing? Family time? Outdoor exercise? Doing a good job with homework? Reading? Helping around the house? Extracurricular activities? 

For more ideas see grandparentsteachtoo.blogspot.com; wnmufm.org/LearningThroughtheSeasons live and podcasts; Pinterest, and Facebook.

Fran Darling, fdarling fotos

Good Discipline is Teaching

"Discipline" Means Impart Knowledge, Skill, Setting Limits - Teaching

According to child psychologists, age appropriate good discipline is used to prevent future behavioral problems in children. The word “discipline” means imparting knowledge, skill,  teaching, and setting limits. Bad discipline, including no teaching develops children who are mean to others including siblings, do dangerous or disruptive things, and revolt as they grow.   Preschool children should be able to follow simple rules, respond to commands, have self -control to wait for things they want, and deal with frustration from not getting their own way. 

  There are many reasons for misbehavior: jealousy, a feeling they are not getting enough positive attention, frustration, stress, hunger, lack of sleep. When children misbehave, they usually get a lot of attention even though it is negative.

  Pediatricians recommend avoid yelling, hitting (spanking) or getting too worked up during episodes. These increase negative attention and reinforce that it is right to get out of control and be aggressive. 

Catch Kids Being Good

It is easier to reward and praise good behavior, to reinforce it, rather than having to change bad behavior. To promote good behavior, doctors suggest families might spend special attention time with children as often as possible.  Be very clear about expectations for children. State rules in clear and simple terms, apply reasonable consequences for 

Praise and Reward Good Behavior

misbehavior as soon as possible after the incident, make consequences brief, be consistent with your rules, and learn to ignore minor or unimportant behaviors.

   Let children know when you are happy that they are being good or have accomplished something. Avoiding power struggles by giving several simple choices, plan ahead and set up rules and expectations. Do not disciple when you are out of control.

  Some strategies that may work to improve children’s behavior include: Kindly with a soft voice allow children to see the natural consequences of actions (if they throw and break a toy, then they can't play with it); Logical consequences (if they don’t put toys away, then toys will be put away for a time);  Withholding privileges (find things that your children enjoy, playing a game, renting movies, and take them away);  A reasonable time out (one minute for every year); Age appropriate reward or token systems can also be effective for a short time in changing bad behaviors.

Count to Fifty

  When your children misbehave or are disruptive, you can remove yourself and ignore, a technique called extinction.  Walk away and breathe deeply from the stomach. 

Sometimes Just Remove Yourself - Count to 50

The approach may work for temper tantrums at home and frequent whining, or other disruptive type behaviors. Be firm, consistent, calm, kind, use a normal volume, and be loving.  Hug and talk about appropriate behavior when you are both calm.  It’s only the behaviors you don’t like, not the children. The health department has classes in your area. See grandparentsteachtoo.blogspot.com; wnmufm.org/Learning Through the Seasons, live and podcasts.

Photos: Fran Darling, fdarling fotos