Kids Respond to Love Languages

Parenting Is Not For the Faint of Heart

 Parenting is not for the faint of heart. It is tough, exhausting, and rewarding especially after following the advice in Drs. Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell’s book “The 5 Love Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children Effectively.” They write about all the ways we can express and receive love so children will understand and be reassured they are loved.

   Although each child is a distinct individual with a distinct personality, children respond to five primary love languages.  The key according to Drs. Chapman and Campbell is finding the best way each child expresses and understands love and then communicating our love in that primary language often. We can express our love in other ways, but there is one primary language an individual understands best. Drs. Chapman and Campbell’s five love languages are affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. They explain how to find the best language and then how to express and solve many problems by using it.

Primary Love Language

What Are Outward Signs of Love?

  What is the most important love language of each child? Their book guides the reader through the process of discovery. We can carefully observe which outward signs of love are most effective. For example, one child might love the verbal praise in front of others for good grades. Another might appreciate big hugs more.  A third child might like money or quality time more.  Parents can carefully observe how children react and use their easy guide.  After all, parents want to reach children and let them know they are precious and loved. We want them to grow into giving, loving, and responsible adults.

Two Love Languages

  Let’s look at acts of service and quality time. Some children express and receive love when they give and receive help. When children are infants, parents constantly help children do things they cannot do for themselves.  As they enter new stages love is expressed, we think, by teaching them how to do things for themselves. For some children, though, helping them is a primary love language. These children feel they are loved when parents help them with homework or sit close to them while they do homework. They feel loved when parents help them learn to throw a ball or draw.

Is Your Child Worthy of Your Undivided Attention?

  Very close to that is the child whose primary love language is undivided personal quality time, so difficult when there is more than one child in the family. This can be the cause major sibling rivalry. Parents can schedule personal quality time like individual conversations, one parent- one child activities or errands.  The activity is not important. The child needs to know that he is worthy of a parent’s undivided attention. Explaining this is not possible doesn’t help.

 For more see Dr. Chapman and Dr. Campbell’s excellent book and ...

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Photos: Fran Darling, fdarling fotos