Sharing the Language of Love with Children

Reassure Children - Say "I Love You"

  One of the greatest pleasures of reading to children is reassuring them that we love them speaking the words out loud.

  According to Dr. Gary Chapman counselor and author of the series of books the "The Five Love Languages” for all members of the family, we can never say the words enough. He writes about all the ways we can say the words so other will understand and be reassured they are loved.

Although each child is a distinct individual with a distinct personality and individual “love languages."  One or more might be more powerful than the others.  The key according to Chapman is finding out the love language what works best for each of our loved ones and then communicating our love in their language.

Love Languages

Five Love Languages

  Dr. Gary Chapman’s five love languages are affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.

  If a child thrives on words of affirmation here are a few ideas from Dr. Chapman. Post encouraging words, praise, or other kind words on your children’s door, in their mittens, or lunch. Compliment your children in front of others.

   Catch your children doing well or something good and thank them. “Thank you for doing your chores today without be reminded.”

   Look for strengths and notice their strengths. Cut up an uplifting note into pieces so your older children can put the words together. Text message words of affirmation to your teens, twenties, and older children often. Let them know when choices are intelligent, kind, and thoughtful, rather than only speaking out when there is a need to correct.  Say, “I love you” often.

Love Books

  When families read out loud to children starting with babies we share all five of the love languages.  Here are some beautiful books that help us speak the language of love.

Visit Your Library - Checkout the "Love Books"

“Take Heart, My Children: A Mother’s Dream” by Ainsley Earhardt ; “ That’s Me Loving You” by Amy Rosenthal;  “Love You Forever” by Robert Munsch; “I Love you, Stinky Face” by Lisa Mccourt; “Guess How Much I Love You” by Sam McBratney; “The Velveteen Rabbit” by Margery Williams; “Juggle Puppy” by Sandra Boynton; “The Wonderful Things You Will Be” by Emily Martin; ”Molly Spreads Love Wherever She Goes” by Suzanne Marshall; “Mama, Do You Love Me? “by Barbara M. Joosse; “What Do You Love About You?” by Karen Lechelt; ‘I’m Wild About You” by Sandra Magsamen; “You Belong to Me” by Mamoru Suzuki;”This is Our Baby, Born Today” by Nancy Paulsen; “Sometimes We Think You Are a Monkey” by Johanna Skibsrud; “Everyone Says Goodnight” by Hiroyuki Arai; “At Night” Helga Bansch

Photos: Fran Darling, fdarling fotos 

For More Ideas and Activities....See the authors’ book “Learning Through the Seasons” at area bookstores and http://grandparentsteachtoo.blogspot.com. Also check our audio Podcasts WNMU Radio 90; Youtube video activities; and join us on Pinterest

Hugs and Cuddles Very Important

Hug to Start the Day!!

How can we can express and receive love so children will understand and be reassured they are loved? In the “The 5 Love Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children Effectively” Drs. Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell emphasize the importance of many forms of hugs.

   Although each child is a distinct individual, children respond to five primary love languages: affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. The key is finding the best way each child expresses and understands love and then communicating our love in that primary language often.

   We can express our love in other ways, but there is one primary language an individual understands best. Chapman and Campbell explain how to find the best language, express it, and solve problems by using it.

Babies’ Needs

  According to Drs. Chapman and Campbell, “babies who are held, caressed, and kissed often develop a healthier emotional life.”  Physical touch is one of love’s strongest languages dating back to recorded history across cultures.  It shouts, “I love you!”   This is one of the first things therapists teach nervous parents.

Children Need the Tender Touch of Caregivers!

  All children need to be touched and receive the tender touch of care givers. Evidence of holding and cuddling is an important qualification to look for in day care of babies. “A baby deserves loving and gentle touches whether in changing diapers, feeding or carrying.” Babies can tell the difference between gentle, harsh, or irritating touches and voices. Gently touch baby’s little fingers, toes, arms, legs tummy, nose and ears. Pat and kiss a baby’s head and softly tell how much he is loved.

  As children become toddlers, preschoolers and school age, wrestling on the floor, riding piggyback, playful loving touches, bear hugs, and fist bumps are loving touches for boys and girls. Boys receive fewer than than girls, not good, according to Drs. Chapman and Campbell. Both need to understand they are loved to meet life’s challenges.

Hugs and Security

  According to these doctors a hug to start the day may mean “the difference between emotional security and insecurity throughout the day.  A hug when the child returns may determine whether your child has a quiet evening of positive mental and physical activity or makes a rambunctious effort to get your attention. Home is a haven, the place where love is secure.”  As children get older, they still long for physical
affection like a touch on the arm, a pat on the back, or a quick hug.

   Some great physical touch books for babies include “Where is Baby’s Belly Button”, “Daddy Hugs”, and “County Kisses” by Karen Katz; “If Animals Kissed Goodnight” by Ann Whitford Hall; “From Head to Toe” by Eric Carle; and “Head Shoulders Knees and Toes” by Annie Kubler.

For more go to -  grandparentsteachtoo.blogspot.com and wnmufm.org/Learning Through the Seasons live Tuesdays at 4:30pm and Saturdays at 8:30 am and pod casts archived on the site.

Photos: Fran Darling, fdarling fotos

Kids Respond to Love Languages

Parenting Is Not For the Faint of Heart

 Parenting is not for the faint of heart. It is tough, exhausting, and rewarding especially after following the advice in Drs. Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell’s book “The 5 Love Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children Effectively.” They write about all the ways we can express and receive love so children will understand and be reassured they are loved.

   Although each child is a distinct individual with a distinct personality, children respond to five primary love languages.  The key according to Drs. Chapman and Campbell is finding the best way each child expresses and understands love and then communicating our love in that primary language often. We can express our love in other ways, but there is one primary language an individual understands best. Drs. Chapman and Campbell’s five love languages are affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. They explain how to find the best language and then how to express and solve many problems by using it.

Primary Love Language

What Are Outward Signs of Love?

  What is the most important love language of each child? Their book guides the reader through the process of discovery. We can carefully observe which outward signs of love are most effective. For example, one child might love the verbal praise in front of others for good grades. Another might appreciate big hugs more.  A third child might like money or quality time more.  Parents can carefully observe how children react and use their easy guide.  After all, parents want to reach children and let them know they are precious and loved. We want them to grow into giving, loving, and responsible adults.

Two Love Languages

  Let’s look at acts of service and quality time. Some children express and receive love when they give and receive help. When children are infants, parents constantly help children do things they cannot do for themselves.  As they enter new stages love is expressed, we think, by teaching them how to do things for themselves. For some children, though, helping them is a primary love language. These children feel they are loved when parents help them with homework or sit close to them while they do homework. They feel loved when parents help them learn to throw a ball or draw.

Is Your Child Worthy of Your Undivided Attention?

  Very close to that is the child whose primary love language is undivided personal quality time, so difficult when there is more than one child in the family. This can be the cause major sibling rivalry. Parents can schedule personal quality time like individual conversations, one parent- one child activities or errands.  The activity is not important. The child needs to know that he is worthy of a parent’s undivided attention. Explaining this is not possible doesn’t help.

 For more see Dr. Chapman and Dr. Campbell’s excellent book and ...

For more go to -  grandparentsteachtoo.blogspot.com and wnmufm.org/Learning Through the Seasons live Tuesdays at 4:30pm and Saturdays at 8:30 am and pod casts archived on the site.
Photos: Fran Darling, fdarling fotos