More Gems for Social Learning

Dr. Kersey quotes J. L. Hymes, "Discipline is a slow, bit by bit, time-consuming task of helping children to see the sense in acting certain way."      Here are more selections to help you through...  Demonstrate Respect Principle - Treat the child the same way you treat other important people in your life - the way you want him to treat you - and others. (How would I want them to say that to me?) - Make a Big Deal Principle - Make a big deal over responsible, considerate, appropriate behavior - with attention (your eyeballs), thanks, praise, thumbs-up, recognition, hugs, special privileges, incentives (not food). - Incompatible Alternative Principle - Give the child something to do that is incompatible with the inappropriate behavior. "Help me pick out six oranges" (instead of running around the grocery store). - Choice Principle - Give the child two choices, both of which are positive and acceptable to you. "Would you rather tiptoe or hop upstairs to bed?" ("You choose or I'll choose.") - Timer Says it's Time Principle - Set a timer to help children make transitions. "When the timer goes off, you will need to put away your books." It is also a good idea to give the child a chance to choose how long he needs to pull himself together. "It's OK to be upset, how long do you need?" Then allow him to remove himself from the group and set the timer. You may offer the child a choice (and set the timer) when it's necessary for him to do something he doesn't want to do. "Do you want to pick up your toys/let Susan have the toy/take your bath in one minute or two?" - Allow Imperfection Principle - Don't demand perfection. Remember no one likes the "perfect" child, parent or teacher. With perfection as the goal, we are all losers. - Anticipation Principle - Think ahead about whether or not the child is capable of handling the situation. If not, don't take him (an expensive restaurant, long church services with out a special room, shopping, or movies). - Apology Principle - Apologize easily when you goof or "lose it." ("I wish I could erase what I just said." "You must have been scared by my reaction." "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." "I was wrong." "I'm sorry.") Apologize for your child ("I'm sorry he knocked you down"), but don't make your child apologize. (You might be making him lie or think that wrong-doings can be rectified with an apology.) Babysitter Principle - Get one. More Ideas and Activities For more ways to encourage music and expend energy on long winter days see the authors’ book “Learning Through the Seasons” at area bookstores and grandparentsteachtoo.org. For more help to prepare young children for success in school see the authors’ web site www.grandparentsteachtoo.org. Also check our audio Podcasts WNMU Radio 90; Youtube video activities; and join us on Pinterest. Photos by Francine Darling, fdarling foto