Helping Children Bounce Back

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Teaching resilience is a long process that most children do not learn on their own. The American Psychological Association has suggestions to help children manage stress, feelings of anxiety, and uncertainty. This doesn’t mean children won’t experience emotional pain, sadness, difficulty, or distress. However, families can give them tools to “meet the challenges with strength, determination and a positive attitude.”
  The previous column lists help with homework, playing board games, learning art and music, helping others, plus teaching and practicing safety rules and deep breathing to help children become resilient. Deep breathing helps families think before saying or doing something they regret.
Small Goals Needed
   Families can teach children to set reasonable goals and then move toward them one step at a time. Celebrate small progress. Moving toward that goal in tiny steps and receiving praise for doing so focuses children on what they have accomplished rather than what hasn't been accomplished. This helps them move forward in the face of challenges.   Break down large school assignments into small achievable goals. That means checking the backpack every night for due dates.
   For example, if children consistently get words wrong on spelling tests practice a short time every night. Even if they get one more correct, celebrate and keep on practicing. Give practice tests in the exact format the teacher uses to minimize test stress.
  Analyze tasks like a coach. If children have difficulty catching a ball, use a larger one and deflate it slightly for a better grip. Throw gently close up and gradually go farther away. Study their hand placement.

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Positive self-view
   Turn off electronic devices and talk during meals, transportation, and waiting in line. Ask for two positive things that happened and one that can be improved. Help children remember ways they successfully handled difficulties in the past and help them understand these past challenges build the strength to handle future challenges. “Wow, last year you were not reading yet. Look at you now. I love to hear you read.”
  Help your children learn to trust themselves to solve problems and make appropriate decisions. “You went to the Lost and Found and found your glove. Way to go!”
  Teach children to see the humor in life, and the ability to laugh at one's self.  “Ah, you might want to check out your socks, honey.” Chuckle softly together about starting a new fashion trend (mismatched socks) without being sarcastic. You are giving children words to create humor rather than being embarrassed about a little slip. Resilient children make a little joke about a simple mistake and move on.
  Teach siblings to nurture humor and acknowledgement in your strong family unit rather than use sarcasm, meanness, and criticism. They can build self-confidence or shred it.
Photos: Fran Darling, fdarling fotos
More Ideas and Activities....See the authors’ book “Learning Through the Seasons” at area bookstores and grandparentsteachtoo.org. For more help to prepare young children for success in school see the authors’ web site: www.grandparentsteachtoo.org. Also check our audio Podcasts WNMU Radio 90; Youtube video activities; and join us on Pinterest