Teaching Kids to be Resilient

fdarling fotos

Resilience is the ability to bounce back after a disappointment or difficulty. There is often a tug of war between desiring to help children be happy and safe and teaching them to get up, dust themselves off and start all over again. Research from medical groups has suggestions for families.
Practice at Home
 Resilient children practice schoolwork, sports, board games (interaction with people), art, music, and help others. These activities teach winning, losing, making mistakes, recovering quickly, and determining to do better. They grow in self-confidence and lessen self-centeredness.
  Find tasks at which children can be successful, master, and go on to the next challenge. If they have difficulty, break it down into smaller parts.
This starts in the family. Children feel useful and an important part of the family when they do age appropriate chores. Give some basic guidance for dusting, for example. Let them work, check up, and praise for doing a nice job. Competence is part of resilience.
   Teach them to help others and join healthy groups like scouts, church, or community volunteers. Resilient kids think of others.
Teach Safety Plans
  Communities teach safety through the schools and send home materials. Follow up.
It is a great time for family conversations, safety plans, and practice. When the fire department sends home a request to practice a fire drill, stop, drop, and roll, and smoke alarm battery checks, take time for their requests.
   Do young children know their name, family names, address, and phone number? Can they call 911? Can children find a store employee (service desk) if lost? Do they stop, look, and listen when they are old enough to cross a street because they have practiced with adults?

 Do adults ask every day for two good things that happened and one thing that can be improved so families know what is going on?  Are backpacks checked daily for school notes and homework?  There are usually signs that things are not quite right (like bullying) if the family’s radar is up. Information and practice help children be resilient and confident.
Deep Breathing
  Teaching young children to deeply breathe helps them to think and cope with stressful situations like standing in front of a class, taking tests, or other tough situations. The habit of deep breathing medically calms the body, slows the heart, and helps control pain. It helps all of us think before saying or doing something we may regret.
 Slowly inhaling through the nose filters the air and is better for oxygen uptake. The exhale, which slows the heart rate, should be longer than the inhale. Practice keeping the shoulders down and neck relaxed. The bigger inhale forces the abdomen to expand, the diaphragm to extend, and pushes the ribs out.
photos: Fran Darling, fdarling fotos
sketches: Mark Nowicki
More Ideas and Activities....See the authors’ book “Learning Through the Seasons” at area bookstores and grandparentsteachtoo.org. For more help to prepare young children for success in school see the authors’ web site: www.grandparentsteachtoo.org. Also check our audio Podcasts WNMU Radio 90; Youtube video activities; and join us on Pinterest