Helping Children to Settle Down

Ways to Help Children Develop Emotional Health

“Emotional Health is a lifelong Superpower.”-Angela Pruess, child psychologist

   

How do we help our children develop emotional health? 
 Angela Pruess has some every good scientific and practical ways to help families. Her many helpful suggestions are at parentswith confidence.com and some are shared with her permission.

 Kinds of Breathing

• Bear breathing: Together Inhale through the nose, to a count of four, pause for a count of two; breathe out for a count of four, pause for count of two and repeat. This will help  ground kids and adults before naps, tests, or a difficult task.
• Hissing Breath: Breathe in through the nose with a long deep inhale and out the mouth with a hissing breath slow and long. This will slow everyone down mentally and physically.

  

  Many Breathing Techniques are Helpful

• Flower Breath: Imagine smelling a rose or daffodil.  Breath in through the nose and out through the mouth. People become conscious of breathing.
• Bunny Breathing: Take in 3 quick sniffs through the nose and one long exhale out the nose pretending to be bunnies sniffing for carrots to eat. This is good when children are so tense and upset that they can’t find their breath.  It will help them connect with their exhale so they breath instead of spin out.

More Settling

• Cuddle with a warm cloth or therapeutic wrap on the back of the neck, back, shoulders, legs wrist or the back of the feet. Therapeutic wraps are filled with natural grain and dried French lavender and may be warmed in the microwave or cooled in the refrigerator. You can also cuddle with a stuffed animal or a real one.
• Draw, paint, doodle, scribble, or do Zen tangle.
• Wrap up like a burrito together and talk, tell a story, or sing softly. 
• Do some animal- walks like a bear, crab, jumping frog. Hang upside down and while leaning against the back or cushions of a couch. Do a wall push up or hand stand.
• Try some kids’ yoga: warrior pose, tree pose, chair pose downward dog stretch, hero pose or plank. Watch a dog lie on its back with feet up for a gentle scratch and emulate it. 

• 

  Cuddle, Crawl, Stretch, Doodle, Challenge, Climb

  Make a fort and climb in together to read a book by flashlight, have a nutritious snack, turn off the lights, or take a nap.
• Do a 5-4-3-2-1 Challenge.  Name five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can touch, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.  This is a grounding effect. It helps pull us into our body’s senses and out of our overly active emotion center of the brain. 

For more see grandparentsteachtoo.blogspot.com;wnmufm.org/Learning Through the Senses live and podcasts; Pinterest, and Facebook. Check out parentswithconfidence.com.

Photos: Fran Darling, fdarling fotos  

Helping to Make Stronger Families

Positive Care Strengthens Families

How can we strengthen families so children can be successful? The American Society for Positive Care of Children and the Strengthening Families programs find developing social and emotional health is as important as reading to children every day.
  Crying or screaming babies can be most stressful since they don’t have the words to tell what is wrong. From birth, we can start giving children emotional words even though they may not understand or say them yet.
  First check physical needs. ”You are so (hungry, wet, tired, or uncomfortable). I will help.” Let them know you understand how they feel and start teaching words they will use later. Take a deep breath and describe what is gong on in a neutral way to help stay calm, too.
Being Proactive
    If babies are frustrated because they can’t play with a dangerous object, keep it out of sight. Offer a distraction. Offer a different toy or change the scenery. If a baby can’t stand the car seat, offer a wonderful plaything only available in the car.

Plan for Young Ones' Needed Down Time

   When babies need downtime during a certain time of the day, read a soothing story, rock, play soft music, or hold in front of a window. Happy and soothing books include “The Perfect Hug” and the “Perfect Kiss” by Walsh.
   Avoid running errands at that time until they are older. Organize a support group of friends and relatives to take turns having one or two hours of free time to conduct errands.
  During out of control crying, remain calm and positive, deep breathe, and praise them for something. “You will be much happier and cozier now. Close your little eyes and relax.” Then take a nap when they sleep. Chores can wait.
  In toddlers, preschoolers, or older children, anger may look like many emotions.  It is difficult to know until children have the words and are calm enough to talk about their feelings Help children know what they are feeling and use the words. Frustration, sadness, hurt, jealously, worry, anxiety, disappointment, embarrassment, fear can look the same.
Getting the Anger Out

Teach Emotional Words Through Conversations

  Teaching emotional words and how to calm down cannot be taught during a full-fledged melt down. They can be taught at many other times during the day through conversations or after a melt down.
  Young children can learn to calm down by slowly breathing deeply in through the nose and sticking out the stomach. Exhale through the mouth much longer and slower than inhaling.
  Young children can punch a pillow, tense and relax muscles from the face to the toes, exercise, or count to 10 slowly. When they are calm, use ”I messages” to let them know you understand their feelings. ”I understand you are angry” can start the conversation. 
Photos: Fran Darling, fdarling fotos 
More Ideas and Activities....See the authors’ book “Learning Through the Seasons” at area bookstores and grandparentsteachtoo.org. For more help to prepare young children for success in school see the authors’ web site: www.grandparentsteachtoo.org. Also check our audio Podcasts WNMU Radio, 90; Youtube video activities; and join us on Pinterest