Gifting’s Last Step: “Thank you”

  “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues but the parent of all others.”  Cicero

Develop Awareness of Gratitude and Thoutfulness 

  Teaching children to be appreciative of others is an important goal. However, helping children learn to value the attention and gifts from others is a big task. It takes time and effort. To develop this awareness families can lead by being good models : saying thank you and writing thank you notes in front of them.

Encouraging “Thanks”

  As our children’s first teachers, families can encourage children to foster a sense of gratitude and to practice the art of being aware of the feelings of others.

Learning to be appreciative, to say “thank you”, “ I’m sorry “, or to give a compliment, can develop naturally over time as young children listen to the conversations of others.  By making the effort to explain why you are saying these things and by coaching kids to remember to respond politely, you are helping foster awareness of feelings and a habit of kindness.

Practicing “Thanks” 

Sending Postcards are Easy and Fun!

   Many children need some practice with an adult to counter the natural inclination to ask for more and more or to ignore or make hurtful statements about gifts they don’t like.  This situation is a perfect time to reflect about feelings, and to think about words or actions that make others feel appreciated.  Often, a quick phone call or Facetime session to send a “thank you” or “sorry” message is welcomed.

Writing “Thanks”

  As Albert Schweitzer says, “At times, our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person.  Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.”

While a verbal “thank you” or “please” is a good first step, many parents, friends or relatives are happy to receive a little card or note from a child. All you need are  paper, crayons or markers, and an envelope. Or, postcards are really easy to write and fun to sent! 

Reading List for Appreciation and Feelings

In a quiet moment, help your child think about a special gift item or perhaps a gift of time or attention.  Make it a little project to write or draw a picture, address an envelope, and send it off to the gift giver. An old card turned into a post card works, too. Very young children can draw and decorate, then dictate a simple sentence and print their name. Older children can practice their cursive, an important skill to be able to read the cursive of others across the generations.

  Some books about feelings, being thankful, and how can we help others to feel appreciated and happy include: “Lots of Feelings” by Shelley Rotner, “Feelings”  by Aliki, and ” The Thankful Book”  by Todd Parr. 

For more see grandparentsteachtoo.blogspot.com; wnmufm.org/Learning Through the Seasons live and pod casts; Pinterest, Facebook, You Tube since 2009

Photos: Fran Darling, fdarling fotos

Teaching Grandchildren to Help and Thank Others

Do Good Deeds; Use Good Social Skills 

 A New Year’s resolution might be to continue teaching children to do good deeds and have good social skills. Children can show gratitude to those who rarely receive a thank you. People who deserve a lot of gratitude are those in the the service industries such as truckers, grocery workers, all in the restaurant businesses including take-outs and bakeries. How often are they working very early in the morning, late at night, or holidays when we are enjoying a rest?

Thanking Restaurant Workers

  We can start with restaurant workers. One family teaches their young children to write thank you and other little notes to people who work in the restaurants they visit. 

Thank Your Waitstaff

The family takes along paper the size of thank you notes and crayons. The activity also keeps the children occupied and helps practice writing skills. While waiting, adults help children ages seven and nine write thank you notes to the server and cook. During a holiday they might write a little note that says “Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, thank you, their first names, and add pictures. Then they leave it on their table.

  The family also teaches children to thank servers for their food and to use “please” with a smile when asking for something. When the server comes around to ask how everything is, they say “Thank you. This is really good.”

  The young children help to clean up their area, organize the used dishes, and pick up anything they drop on the floor. The family discusses how hard restaurant and other service people work, especially around any holiday, as part of the children’s economics lessons.

No, Thank you

  Another reader shares this good social skills tip. Since her

Use Your Words - Socially

children were very young, instead of saying “No” to them, she says calmly,” No, thank you.” Now when adults ask her children if they want something and the children don’t want it, they say, “No, thank you.” It’s automatic. “No” and “thank you” are linked. Immediately other adults will raise their eyebrows and say, HOW did you do THAT?” The parent adds when her children are in the middle of a tantrum, “Forget it! There is no link. They aren’t perfect.”

Young children think about themselves, making themselves comfortable, and getting what they want. However, with these easy activities families can teach them to be “good” children and think of others in a very natural and positive way. Doing little acts that show appreciation like writing thank you notes to hard working retailers, grocers, mail carriers, restaurant employees, and others helps children learn that being nice to others has more benefit than being nasty and ill mannered at any age.

  For more ideas see grandparentsteachtoo.blogspot.com, wnmufm.org/ Learning Through the Seasons live and pod casts; Pinterest, and Facebook.